We all would probably like to think of ourselves as being the most penultimately desirable person to our partners. No one wants to think that their partner could have had a better option had the chance presented itself. It's just like that How I Met Your Mother episode where they describe "The Reacher" and "The Settler" the one in the relationship who manages to land someone who is "out of their league" is "The Reacher" because they've managed to reach up past their dating level. "The Settler" is the one who could have "dated higher" but decided to go with someone who could be seen as less attractive or less desirable (for one reason or another) because of some connection, compatibility, or personal preference that just worked.
Just as in How I Met Your Mother, my partner and I have argued for years over which one of us in the relationship is "The Settler," We both narcissistically swear to the ends of the earth that it's ourselves. The secret that neither of us will ever admit to each other is that, when we first started dating, we both thought that we had landed ourselves a catch and considered ourselves "The Reacher."
I say "thought" there because after seven years, whether or not either of us is a "catch" at this point doesn't really matter and is more fun to joke about than anything else.
Well, perhaps understandably, this guy is still a little insecure about his place in his relationship with his babe of a girlfriend. He admits in his post that he "Never thought [he] had a chance.] and that he felt they "Weren't in the same league."
The guy, Redditor u/boatlyfe12, posted this thread titled "AITA for leaving a couples trip in the middle of the night and "ruining" the vibe?" to the popular r/AITA (Am I the A-Hole) subreddit. The post is dripping with insecurities and reeks of fractured self-confidence, and he will inevitably lose this catch if he doesn't manage to sort these issues out.
Who knows, he may have blown his chances already with how he describes reacting to some comments his girlfriend made while he was on an all-expenses-paid getaway vacation that his girlfriend organized for his birthday with all of their friends. Like, my guy, clearly the girl has (or had at least) some pretty solidified feelings for you if she was willing to splash out that much cash to throw you a good time.
Unfortunately, her comments during a party game triggered his insecurities and bruised his ego. He then made the rash decision to leave and now the relationship is in turmoil. The most concerning thing to me here is that it's apparent in his edits that his ego is refusing to move out of the way and he is determined to save face and "feel like the man" in order to prove to himself that he deserves his girlfriend. He is trying to frame the situation as if he is going to decide if the relationship is "salvageable." Bro, you're going to be lucky if she doesn't dump you.
If she does… you completely deserve it and your own insecurities have ironically eventuated your own worst fears.
The internet is certain that the fault rests solely on his shoulders. What's your take?
Thumbnail Image: Nathan McBride
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